I’ve always liked being an individual, it’s something I pride myself on. I’m a vegetarian, I don’t believe in God, I never want to get pregnant, I don’t drink, I’m a feminist. These are some of my favorite, fundamental parts of my being. And these are the same parts that make people raise their eyebrows or scrunch up their face in a frown and ask “why?!”
I enjoy being an individual, but I enjoy having to defend my personality every day. For some reason these are always issues people want to change my mind on. I don’t feel like I’m hurting anyone, I don’t try to push my perspective onto others, but I’m continually being told that I’m wrong or that I’ll change my mind.
I’ve been a vegetarian by choice since I was three. So when people try to change my mind, it’s sort of humorous, like all of a sudden I’m just going to change that core belief just because someone says “bacon is amaaaazing.” I say more meat for you, so why try to change me? People always have a hard time understanding, “How do you live without meat??” quite happily actually. I don’t remember what it tastes like and have no desire for it. It’s a hard one to explain, because I don’t know how to convey the disgust. I usually ask people if they’d be willing to eat a human tongue or a cat for reference.
People are always trying to get me to drink or tell me I just haven’t found the right kind. It feels reminiscent of being told eventually I’ll find the right man, I don’t need to drink so it’s not important to find the perfect beverage to come sweep me off my sober. Sometimes I think about telling people I’m a recovering alcoholic just so they’ll leave the subject alone.
People are always laughing when I say I don’t want to get pregnant, laughing harder when I say it’s an actual phobia. Yes it’s an actual phobia and no I’m not alone. “You’ll feel different.” As this has been something that has horrified me since I was young, I don’t think so. I know myself, I know what I can handle and what I can’t. Interestingly, people get just as upset when I say I don’t like to cook.
“Women are made for that.” That doesn’t mean I have to or should. It doesn’t make me any less of a woman. “What would you do if you got pregnant today?” That one is hard to answer because people think it’s a funny question, like they’re playing truth or dare. My fear of snakes seems to be much more justified even though I consider that to be the more ridiculous fear.
God is the one subject people don’t push too much, because it’s something I don’t bring up an awful lot. I don’t talk about my relationship with the universe, my candles and my chanting. I keep my rituals to myself because I don’t like seeing that scrunched up face people get when they hear something foreign.
These are the best parts of me and I often feel like I need to hide them to make everyone else comfortable so they don’t make me uncomfortable.